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    7/13/2006

    灵魂,肉体,分离

    today is indeed a special day, i experienced such a thing that my body and my soul was separated again.
    明天就要去见扬了.刚才和他发信息,他很和气地让我明早叫他起床,下来一起吃早点.
    今天,和潇见面了.由于很疲劳,总是以后脾气.心里很难受,所以不断地克制自己.但是身体的原因让我们之间的见面,更多地停留在睡觉上......很无奈~
    为了坚定信念,不断地抱紧他,为了坚定信念,不断地让他抱紧我.仿佛这样,就能忘记心里的杂念,好好和他在一起.偶尔醒来的时候,听见他的电脑上放着这样的一首歌:
    除了爱你还能爱谁
    大雨过后霓虹的世界 半片土司冷掉的咖啡 热闹的街烤香肠的香味 想起远方你的夜 也许流浪是我的事业 在你心中我没有地位 拿起guitar唱不出的心碎 你忘了你的誓约 城市的屋顶都是天线 却收不到从前 飞机划过我头上的天 希望它为我带走一切 除了爱你还能爱谁 你留下的世界已支离破碎 我可以无所谓 只要你自觉无后悔爱的更对 了爱你还能爱谁 如果时间能让思念继续宿醉 已幻灭的爱情 至少有人还有幸福给你祝福 我给你祝福
    听得我很想哭,又或者是可以说,真的哭了.躲到了他屋子里的美丽阳台.抱着软软的熊,哭到不能自拔.直到他听见声音追过来.我擦干眼泪,躺回去,抱着"小哀"(一直可爱的布偶象),听着那句"你留下的世界已支离破碎".真的好贴切.扬可以走得很干脆,又或者可以回来的很暧昧,但是我的世界,他留给我的世界,已经支离破碎到我无法修复......
    抱着他,在他耳边不自主地重复,珍惜你,就要放弃我过去的整个世界.......逐渐睡着,梦里落泪......
    明明已经好像可以一个人度过生活了,却发现,原来他还在那个角落里,不曾离开.
    灵魂.肉体.分离.我的肉体抱着的是我未来的生活,我的灵魂,拥抱的是我不得不放弃的爱情.分离的神志,分离的内心.分离的爱.
     
    窗外又开始了轰隆雷鸣和耀眼的闪电.又一场暴雨.我的心里,真的希望明天可以有甜蜜的拥抱和接吻,但是,我又明确地知道,还是,保持距离,比较好.真的爱他爱到了一定的地步么?
     
    好怕这样大的雷声,仿佛一直震到我的心底.碎裂的声音不仅仅响彻天空,更让我内心不安.尖叫出声......
     
    明天的一切,除了接受,不能做别的.
     
    扬,再抱我一次,好么?

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    Cynthia★wrote:
    为了证明我的存在 来踩个脚印 等待你的长篇……
    July 14

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